Hi professor!
*imitates farnsworth from futurama* good news everyone! Youre going to be my friend. If you do become my friend, I will give you a 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000"0"0000000000000000000000000000000000% pay rise in your earnings at planet express!
(key words: become, friend, me)