I love this warstory simply for the Hail Tentacruel. Tentacruel is an excellent choice for changing the weather too, as the only weather sweeper who could KO it right off the bat is Dory, but you could probably handle him with either Breloom or Scizor. And people are always reckless with their weather-inducers if they don't think you have any.
The warstory itself was pretty good, though there were a few misplays, mostly on your opponents side. I can't fault your overpredicting first turn, since I do it alllll the time. I enjoyed your commentary, the jokes lightened the mood without being overly ridiculous like some.
Overall excellent first warstory, and I look forward to more. (: