VGC 21 [SC] Torkoal+Ferrothorn

[Bananers]

[SET]
name: Support
move 1: Burning Jealousy
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Yawn
move 4: Protect
item: Sitrus Berry / Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* On teams lacking Groudon, Torkoal is a reliable option to set sun for Charizard and Venusaur to wreak havoc with their abilities.

* Burning Jealousy is excellent for punishing Weakness Policy and Swords Dance users such as Groudon, Necrozma-DM, and Solgaleo.

* Body Press is Torkoal's primary offensive option. It his fairly hard, as Torkoal has a naturally high Defense stat.

* Yawn can cripple Dynamaxed Pokemon, which Torkoal struggles to deal with otherwise.

[SET]
name: Offensive
move 1: Eruption
move 2: Heat Wave / Flamethrower
move 3: Earth Power / Solar Beam
move 4: Protect
item: Charcoal
ability: Drought
nature: Quiet
evs: 252 HP / 252 SpA / 4 SpD
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* Eruption is Torkoal's most powerful attack, being able to OHKO the likes of Zacian-C and Thundurus. It also gives Torkoal a 150 BP Max Flare, a powerful single-target attack and a way to reset sun.

* Heat Wave is a strong spread move, but Flamethrower is more reliable thanks to its perfect accuracy and ability to bypass Wide Guard.

* Earth Power hits Rock- and Fire-types such as Nihilego, Incineroar, and Stakataka. Additionally, it can boost its Torkoal's rather poor Special Defense with Max Quake. Alternatively, Solar Beam hits types Water- and Rock-types such as Tapu Fini and Lapras. Max Overgrowth is useful for not being reliant on sun to dent opposing Water-types, and it can also override opposing terrains by summoning Grassy Terrain.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[zeefable, 501951]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Finland, 517429]]


Ferrothorn
[SET]
name: Iron Defense
move 1: Body Press
move 2: Iron Defense (switched Iron Defense to be above leech bc set is named after it)
move 3: Leech Seed
move 4: Protect
item: Leftovers
ability: Iron Barbs
nature: Sassy
evs: 212 HP/ 44 Def/ 252 SpDef 212 HP / 44 Def / 252 SpD
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* With Ferrothorn's great defensive typing and solid natural bulk, it is able to be a consistent and very respectable win condition against many top threats, such as Kyogre and Necrozma-DM.

* Body Press is Ferrothorn's sole offensive option. After Ferrothorn has used Iron Defense a few times, it's capable of putting dents in a majority of the metagame, including Rillaboom, Incineroar, and Kartana.

* Ferrothorn can easily set up Iron Defense in the face of many attackers. After an Iron Defense, (AC) it is basically untouchable by a majority of the physical Pokemon in the metagame, (AC) including (RC) Groudon, Necrozma-DM, and Calyrex-Ice.

* Leech Seed is a way for Ferrothorn to recover while slowly chipping at its foes. It is excellent for wearing down Pokemon without reliable recovery, like Zacian-C and Kyogre.

* 212 HP EVs maximize Leftovers recovery, while 252 Special Defense EVs allow Ferrothorn to better stand up to strong special attackers like Regieleki and Kyogre.

[CREDITS]
Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[zeefable, 501951]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Finland, 517429]]

 

[Bananers]

If I made spelling mistakes, it's 4 in the morning here lol

 

[zee]

Bananers7

please keep in mind the set compendium is not a mini analyses. it's just a sample set with the most abbreviated context possible.

refer to this thread for how to properly format your SC, and please make sure all sets you reserved are in the same thread

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/sc-tapu-koko-cinderace-gp-0-1.3679152/

 

[Bananers]

Bananers7

please keep in mind the set compendium is not a mini analyses. it's just a sample set with the most abbreviated context possible.

refer to this thread for how to properly format your SC, and please make sure all sets you reserved are in the same thread

https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/sc-tapu-koko-cinderace-gp-0-1.3679152/

My bad, should I make a new thread with both my Ferro analysis and my Torkoal analysis?

 

[zee]

My bad, should I make a new thread with both my Ferro analysis and my Torkoal analysis?

just edit your OP, include [SC] in the title. QC is only x/1 for these

 

[Bananers]

just edit your OP, include [SC] in the title. QC is only x/1 for these

is that ok for now? I'll make the changes later I have to do something rn

 

[Bananers]

[OVERVIEW]

Torkoal is a very good non-restricted option for Sun teams. It deals with the many Grass and Steel types of the Series 8, with notable examples being Kartana, Rillaboom, Zacian-C, the Psychic/Steel types in Necrozma Dusk Mane, Solgaleo, and Metagross to an extent, and Ferrothorn. With it's solid movepool of both good offensive moves such as Eruption and Heat Wave, as well as support options in Yawn and Burning Jealousy, it can be hard to detect what set it will be running in team preview. This can create 50/50 situations in the Torkoal player's favor. For example, a Tapu Fini may switch in to block a Yawn sleep, only to be blasted by a Choice Specs Solar Beam. While it does have it's strengths, Torkoal also has poor matchups versus some of the best Pokemon in the meta. Notable examples include Kyogre when rain is up, Groudon, and Landorus-Therian. Overall, Torkoal is a very solid Pokemon with Support and Offensive options. It has good matchups against top tier Pokemon such as Kartana and Zacian-C. While these are good for Torkoal, it has bad matchups as well, Groudon and Landorus-Therian being the main perpetrators.

[SET]
name:Support
move 1:Burning Jealousy
move 2:Body Press
move 3:Yawn
move 4:Protect
item:Sitrus Berry/Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: (if Sitrus Berry) 212 HP/ 180 Def / 116 SpDef or (if Shuca Berry) 252 HP/ 180 Def / 76 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
- 0 Attack for Foul Play and Confusion. 0 Speed for your own or opposing Trick Rooms.

-Yawn is good for forcing awkward situations with Dynamax Pokemon. A yawned Dynamax Pokemon must either fall asleep or switch and waste its Dynamax. It can also put Safety Goggles holding Pokemon to sleep that common partner Venusaur can't

-Burning Jealousy is a good move to burn Dynamaxed Pokemon which can hinder their ability to attack. Works well against mons like Kartana and Metagross that often boost a stat in Dynamax.

-Protect is good for blocking Fake Out attempts as well for positioning purposes.

-Body Press is a very strong move coming off of Torkoals big defense stat. This also allows it to exert offensive pressure while still being able to invest in primarily bulk.

[SET]
name:Offensive
move 1: Eruption
move 2: Heat Wave/Flamethrower
move 3: Earth Power/Solar Beam/Heat Wave/ Flamethrower (Heat Wave and Flamethrower in move 3 really only works on Choice Specs)
move 4: Protect/Solar Beam/Earth Power (Solar Beam and Earth Power only work on Choice Specs in move 4)
item: Charcoal/Choice Specs
ability: Drought
nature: Quiet
evs: 252 HP/ 252 SpAtk / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

-0 Attack once again for minimum Confusion and Foul Play damage. 0 Speed is for Trick Room.

-Eruption is a must, it can break massive holes in teams and is very spammable as even Pokemon with a fire resist take a lot

- You want a second fire move here to use when Torkoal can't use Eruption due to low health. Heat Wave is a strong spread move, but Flamethrower is stronger due to no spread reduction, more accurate, but it can only hit one target.

-Move three can be many different things. Solar Beam hits Water and Rock types. Earth Power hits Rock and Fire types. Heat Wave or Flamethrower, whichever one you didn't choose, can be useful in different situations depending on the field.

-Move four is almost always Protect on Charcoal sets, good for keeping Torkoal safe while you set up a TR for it to wreak havoc. On Choice Specs you want either Solar Beam or Earth Power for the reasons above.

-Note that you can Dynamax Charcoal Torkoal in certain situations

=============



[CREDITS]
- Written by: Bananers7 (not sure what my ID is yet)
- Quality checked by:
- Grammar checked by:

zeefable I made some small revisions, this alright for the Torkoal analysis? Currently working on the Ferrothorn analysis.

 

[Bananers]

[OVERVIEW]

Iron Defense Leech Seed Ferrothorn is an excellent anti-meta pick in todays VGC metagame. With the typing of Steel/Grass is walls some of the best restricteds such as Kyogre, Necrozma Dusk Mane, Groudons not carrying Fire Punch, Dialgas without a fire move (which most of them don't have), Palkia, and Close Combat variants of Zacian-Crowned after setting up an Iron Defense. This doesn't even look at regular Pokemon such as Landorus-Therian and Regieleki, both very popular picks walled. A very good upside of Ferrothorn is that since it is more of an uncommon pick trainers tend to not think of it when building teams. This can create unwinnable matchups for the opposition as they may not have anything to break through the Iron Defensing, health regenerating Ferrothorn. Ferrothorn's most common partner is Kyogre as the rain Kyogre sets helps Ferrothorn's crippling fire weakness, but some Ho-Oh teams have been running Ferrothorn to help win the long game, which is how Ho-Oh teams play. While Ferrothorn is a very good pick, you need to watch out for some things. Most notably, Taunt users such as Incineroar, Whimsicott, and Tornadus-I. Fire type Pokemon such as Charizard, Torkoal, Ho-Oh, and Incineroar. You also need to watch out for haze users like Tapu Fini and Dusclops. However overall, Ferrothorn is a very good defensive piece that is able to wall a large portion of teams in this meta. It does have it's weaknesses, but with the right support those can be played around.

[SET]
name: Leech Seed+Iron Defense
move 1: Body Press
move 2: Leech Seed
move 3: Iron Defense
move 4: Protect
item: Leftovers
ability: Iron Barbs
nature: Sassy
evs: 212 HP/ 44 Def/ 252 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe
[SET COMMENTS]

-212 HP evs maximizes leftovers recovery

- Body Press does massive damage after a couple Iron Defense's, it also helps in endgames where Taunt is present.

-Leech Seed provides Ferrothorn chip damage as well as healing to help in stall endgames

- Iron Defense lets Ferrothorn wall much of the physical attackers in the meta. Most Groudons, Necrozma Dusk Mane, Zacian-Crowned without Sacred Sword, and Calyrex-Ice are all wallable with Iron Defense.

- Protect gives Ferrothorn free Leftovers and Leech Seed recovery

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]
Other Options
=============

You can run a more offensive variant of Ferrothorn with either Assault Vest with Power Whip, Gyro Ball, Body Press, and either Knock Off or Bulldoze, or a set up sweeper with a recovery berry (sitrus, figy, etc.) or Occa Berry, with the moves Curse/Swords Dance, Power Whip, Gyro Ball, and either Protect, Bulldoze, Body Press, or Knock Off. The reason these sets don't see a lot of usage is because it is very weak to the common Intimidate as well as being outclassed by other Steel types and Grass types. Notable examples include Kartana, Necrozma Dusk Mane, and Stakataka.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: Bananers7 (idk whats my ID yet)
- Quality checked by:
- Grammar checked by:

zeefable my analysis ready to be QC'd?

 

[zee]

Bananers7

You did not follow the proper format when writing the analysis. Please look here, it is just set comments & credits, and all three sets should be in your OP (original post). You can get your user ID by going to your profile, it is the string of numbers at the end of the url. Tag me when this is appropriately formatted.

 

[Bananers]

ohhhhh, I get it now, I'll fix these. and put them in my original post

 

[Bananers]

zeefable done I believe, can it go into QC now

 

[zee]

QC time
add remove (comment) highlight

Torkoal

[SET]
name:Support
move 1:Burning Jealousy
move 2:Body Press
move 3:Yawn
move 4:Protect
item:Sitrus Berry/Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: (if Sitrus Berry) 212 HP/ 180 Def / 116 SpDef or (if Shuca Berry) 252 HP/ 180 Def / 76 SpDef 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpD
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* Add a sentence here about being a reliable sun setter for Charizard and Venusaur

- 0 Attack for Foul Play and Confusion. 0 Speed for your own or opposing Trick Rooms. (implied)

-Yawn is good for forcing awkward situations with Dynamax Pokemon. A yawned Dynamax Pokemon must either fall asleep or switch and waste its Dynamax. It can also put Safety Goggles holding Pokemon to sleep that common partner Venusaur can't

-Burning Jealousy is a good move to burn Dynamaxed Pokemon which can hinder their ability to attack. Works well against mons (This isn't even a complete sentence?? Also, don't use "mons" ever. Always always always use Pokemon) like Kartana and Metagross that often boost a stat in Dynamax.

-Protect is good for blocking Fake Out attempts as well for positioning purposes.

-Body Press is a very strong move coming off of Torkoals big defense stat. This also allows it to exert offensive pressure while still being able to invest in primarily bulk.

(This is just out of order. Remember that you should explain the moveset in the order of the provided sample set)

[SET]
name:Offensive
move 1: Eruption
move 2: Heat Wave/Flamethrower
move 3: Earth Power/Solar Beam/Heat Wave/ Flamethrower (Heat Wave and Flamethrower in move 3 really only works on Choice Specs)
move 4: Protect/Solar Beam/Earth Power (Solar Beam and Earth Power only work on Choice Specs in move 4)
item: Charcoal/Choice Specs
ability: Drought
nature: Quiet
evs: 252 HP/ 252 SpAtk / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

(I'm not a huge fan of specs. It doesn't see a lot of high level play mostly because support sets eclipse offensive sets entirely, but charcoal is definitely the way to go for offensive torkoal)

[SET COMMENTS]

-0 Attack once again for minimum Confusion and Foul Play damage. 0 Speed is for Trick Room.

-Eruption is a must, it can break massive holes in teams and is very spammable as even Pokemon with a fire resist take a lot (like??? analyses NEED examples. you cannot just generalize entire types)

- You want a second fire move here to use when Torkoal can't use Eruption due to low health. Heat Wave is a strong spread move, but Flamethrower is stronger due to no spread reduction, more accurate, but it can only hit one target.

-Move three can be many different things. Solar Beam hits Water and Rock types (like? why should I run this over Earth Power? Is the Max Move beneficial?). Earth Power hits Rock and Fire types (See previous comment). Heat Wave or Flamethrower, whichever one you didn't choose, can be useful in different situations depending on the field.

-Move four is almost always Protect on Charcoal sets, good for keeping Torkoal safe while you set up a TR for it to wreak havoc. On Choice Specs you want either Solar Beam or Earth Power for the reasons above.

-Note that you can Dynamax Charcoal Torkoal in certain situations

[CREDITS]
- Written by: Bananers7 #527416
- Quality checked by:
- Grammar checked by:

see below for proper formatting
=============

Ferrothorn

[SET]
name: Leech Seed+Iron Defense
move 1: Body Press
move 2: Leech Seed
move 3: Iron Defense
move 4: Protect
item: Leftovers
ability: Iron Barbs
nature: Sassy
evs: 212 HP/ 44 Def/ 252 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe
[SET COMMENTS]

* add a sentence here about ferrothorn being a respectable wincondition able to stand up to many common restricteds like Kyogre and Decrozma-DM

-212 HP evs maximizes leftovers recovery (keep EV spread comments at the end btw)

- Body Press does massive damage after a couple Iron Defense's, it also helps in endgames where Taunt is present.

-Leech Seed provides Ferrothorn chip damage as well as healing to help in stall endgames

- Iron Defense lets Ferrothorn wall much of the physical attackers in the metagame (always use metagame in its entirety) . Most Groudons, Necrozma Dusk Mane, Zacian-Crowned without Sacred Sword, and Calyrex-Ice are all wallable with Iron Defense. (The thought process is there but I'm not huge on your wording. I would make it a point that Ferrothorn can easily set up Iron Defense thanks to its great bulk, making it untouchable my most physical attackers. Definitely want to leave Zacian out of this point btw, too many of them are running Sacred Sword for Ferrothorn to be considered a wall.

- Protect gives Ferrothorn free Leftovers and Leech Seed recovery (protect mentions in doubles are pretty obvious, so only rarely will it actually be covered in the analysis)

yellow highlights = this isn't really analysis level language. please get familiar with the more formal writing style of published analyses which can be seen on the dex

[CREDITS]
- Written by: Bananers7 #527416 [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[user1, userid1] , [user2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[user1, userid1]]

I apologize if this comes off condescending, I am not trying to be. From what I understand this is your first effort in the C&C process and I appreciate you being willing to take on this project. Follow the advice I've laid out for you in this post, and it'll be one step towards being a better writer in the future. Tag me when this is implemented (be sure to implement everything entirely) and I will come back for another round of advice. There's some more stuff I didn't touch on here just because I do not want to overwhelm you. This is officially in the QC stage, so be sure to add the quality control tag and [QC 0/1] to your title.


btw just a note: I like checking analyses from bottom to top so if anything looks out of sequence that is probably why.

 

[Bananers]

zeefable Changes are made.Also I am fine with criticism, I understand the importance of it and I want to be a better writer, so all of it is accepted

 

[zee]

Torkoal

[SET]
name:Support
move 1:Burning Jealousy
move 2:Body Press
move 3:Yawn
move 4:Protect
item:Sitrus Berry/Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: 252 HP/ 252 Def/ 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

(proper spacing is very important for when we upload these to the dex. the correct format is as is follows. please be sure to make all sets have this level of spacing)

name: Support
move 1: Burning Jealousy
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Yawn
move 4: Protect
item: Sitrus Berry / Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
(set comments use asterisks * and a space to start their lines instead of hyphens. be sure to swap over)

-Due to Torkoals bulk with this set, it can consistently switch in and On teams lacking Groudon, Torkoal is a reliable option to set sun for Charizard and Venusaur to wreak havoc as their abilities greatly benefit from sun being active.

-Burning Jealousy is a good move to burn Dynamaxed Pokemon which can hinder their ability to attack. It easily burns Pokemon such as Kartana and Metagross since many of the max moves they use boost a stat. (Burning Jealously does not affect Dynamax Pokemon. It affects Pokemon with boosting stats, which you do a better job of addressing in the second sentence but still miss the mark a bit)

* Burning Jealousy is excellent for punishing Weakness Policy and Swords Dance users such as Groudon, Necrozma-DM, and Solgaleo.

-Body Press is Torkoal's primary offensive option. It his fairly hard as Torkoal has a naturally high Defense stat. a very strong move coming off of Torkoals big defense stat. This also allows it to exert offensive pressure while still being able to invest in primarily bulk.

-Yawn is good for crippling opposing forcing awkward situations with Dynamax Pokemon, which Torkoal struggles to deal with otherwise. A yawned Dynamax Pokemon must either fall asleep or switch and waste its Dynamax. It can also put Safety Goggles holding Pokemon to sleep that common partner Venusaur can't.

[SET]
name:Offensive
move 1: Eruption
move 2: Heat Wave/Flamethrower
move 3: Earth Power/Solar Beam
move 4: Protect
item: Charcoal
ability: Drought
nature: Quiet
evs: 252 HP/ 252 SpAtk / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

- Eruption is Torkoal's most powerful attack, being able to OHKO the likes of Zacian-C and Thundurus. It also gives Torkoal a 150 BP Max Flare; a powerful single-target attack and a way to reset sun. a must, it can break massive holes in teams and is very spammable as even Pokemon with a fire resist take a lot (See: 252+ SpA Charcoal Torkoal Eruption (150 BP) vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Dragapult: 60-71 (36.8 - 43.5%) -- guaranteed 3HKO, Dragapult can't safely switch in without taking almost half of it's health)

- Heat Wave is a strong spread move, but Flamethrower is more reliable thanks to its perfect accuracy and ability to bypass Wide Guard. is stronger due to no spread reduction, more accurate, but it can only hit one target.

- Earth Power hits Rock- and Fire-types such as Nihilego, Incineroar, and Stakataka. Additionally, it can boost its rather poor Special Defense with Max Quake. Solar Beam hits Water- and Rock types such as Tapu Fini and Lapras Tyranitar. Most of the time Earth Power will be better, but Solar Beam does give Torkoal Max Overgrowth. This can be useful to reduce the damage of a Earthquake from Landorus-T or miscellaneous Pokemon such as Solgaleo and Necrozma Dusk Mane. Max Overgrowth is useful for not being reliant on sun to dent opposing Water-types, and can also override opposing terrains by summoning Grassy Terrain. (Not too big on the EQ point here, Lando is the only real user of it and most of the time it's just gonna be Dynamaxed like the steels)

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[user1, userid1] , [user2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[user1, userid1]]
=============

Ferrothorn

[SET]
name: Iron Defense
move 1: Body Press
move 2: Leech Seed
move 3: Iron Defense
move 4: Protect
item: Leftovers
ability: Iron Barbs
nature: Sassy
evs: 212 HP/ 44 Def/ 252 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe
[SET COMMENTS]

- With Ferrothorn's great defensive typing and solid natural bulk, it is able to be a consistent very respectable win condition against many top threats such as Kyogre and Necrozma-DM. Notable examples of Pokemon stonewalled by Ferrothorn is Kyogre and Necrozma Dusk Mane. These Pokemon give Ferrothorn free room to set up Iron Defenses and Leech Seeds, which eventually will lead to Ferrothorn winning the game between the passive damage of Leech Seed and the pitiful damage the opposition will be doing to it. (Just a little too long winded here. See how I was able to pretty much say exactly what you said in about 20% of the word count?)

- Body Press is Ferrothorn's sole offensive option. After it has used Iron Defense a few times, it's capable of putting dents in a majority of the metagame, including Rillaboom, Incineroar, and Kartana. With both Iron Defense and Ferrothorns already great base physical bulk, Body Press does massive damage and can break serious holes in teams. See this calculation against a pretty bulky neutral hit in Rillaboom: +2 44 Def Ferrothorn Body Press vs. 252 HP / 0 Def Rillaboom: 86-102 (41.5 - 49.2%) -- guaranteed 3HKO, and if it gets to set up another Iron Defense: +3 44 Def Ferrothorn Body Press vs. 252 HP / 0 Def Rillaboom: 107-127 (51.6 - 61.3%) -- guaranteed 2HKO. Body Press also has the added benefit of not being affected by Intimidate so the opposition can't stall it out with Intimidate cycling in the endgame.

- With Leech Seeds set up Ferrothorn becomes practically unkillable. It can easily just Leech Seed, Protect, Body Press, and repeat. This chips down the entire opposition to the point of killing them. Leech Seed also has the added benefit of helping Ferrothorn beat fire types. Ferrothorn with Iron Defenses up can take one fire type attack, but usually not two. With Leech Seed, it can easily take lets say a Flare Blitz from Incineroar (See:4 Atk Incineroar Flare Blitz vs. +4 212 HP / 44 Def Ferrothorn: 84-100 (47.7 - 56.8%) -- 18.8% chance to 2HKO after Leftovers recovery), set up Leech Seed, and take another one (See: 4 Atk Incineroar Flare Blitz vs. +4 212 HP / 44 Def Ferrothorn: 84-100 (47.7 - 56.8%) -- guaranteed 3HKO after Leftovers recovery and Leech Seed recovery.) Leech Seed is a way for Ferrothorn to gain reliable recovery while slowly chipping at its foes. It is excellent for wearing down Pokemon without reliable recovery, like Zacian-C and Kyogre.

- Due to Ferrothorn's great base bulk, it can easily set up Iron Defenses in the face of many physical attackers. After an Iron Defense it is basically untouchable by a majority of the physical Pokemon in the metagame, including. Most Groudons, Necrozma-DM Dusk Mane, and Calyrex-Ice are all examples.

-212 HP EVs maximizes leftovers recovery, while 252 Special Defense EVs allow Ferrothorn to better stand up to strong special attackers like Regieleki and Kyogre. due to 176 HP being a 16n number. This is important because with 212, 220, 228, 236, 244, and 252 HP investment, you get the same amount of leftovers recovery in 11% each turn. But with 212 HP EVs, you get 40 extra EVs to invest while still getting the same benefits of 220 investment and above.

[CREDITS]
Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[user1, userid1] , [user2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[user1, userid1]]

I did a large amount of my own writing here. I will not do this for you in future works, but I hope it helps to show you how should approach these. Succinct, informative sentences that are right to the point are what we're looking for here.

The main thing is you're taking a lot of words to deliver simple points, maybe because of how I came off in the first check. Really, we're just looking for quick sentences with semi-formal language so that they meet the standards of the dex. Please don't forget the formatting suggestions and tag me when done!

 

[Bananers]

zeefable changes are made

 

[zee]

as promised, let's wrap this up!

Torkoal

[SET]
name: Support
move 1: Burning Jealousy
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Yawn
move 4: Protect
item: Sitrus Berry / Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* On teams lacking Groudon, Torkoal is a reliable option to set sun for Charizard and Venusaur to wreak havoc as their abilities greatly benefit from sun being active.

* Burning Jealousy is excellent for punishing Weakness Policy and Swords Dance users such as Groudon, Necrozma-DM, and Solgaleo.

* Body Press is Torkoal's primary offensive option. It his fairly hard as Torkoal has a naturally high Defense stat.

* Yawn can cripple Dynamaxed Pokemon like Thundurus and Calyrex-I, which do not run Lum Berry often. Torkoal struggles to deal with otherwise. (yeah sorry I know this is basically my comment but I like this mention more)

[SET]
name: Offensive
move 1: Eruption
move 2: Heat Wave/Flamethrower
move 3: Earth Power/Solar Beam
move 4: Protect
item: Charcoal
ability: Drought
nature: Quiet
evs: 252 HP/ 252 SpAtk / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk/0 Spe

(fix your spacing!)
[SET COMMENTS]

* Eruption is Torkoal's most powerful attack, being able to OHKO the likes of Zacian-C and Thundurus. It also gives Torkoal a 150 BP Max Flare; a powerful single-target attack and a way to reset sun.

* Heat Wave is a strong spread move, but Flamethrower is more reliable thanks to its perfect accuracy and ability to bypass Wide Guard.

* Earth Power hits Rock and Fire types such as Nihilego, Incineroar, and Stakataka. Additionally, it can boost its rather poor Special Defense with Max Quake. While Solar Beam hits Water and Rock types such as Tapu Fini and Lapras. Max Overgrowth is useful for not being reliant on sun to dent opposing Water-types, and can also override opposing terrains by summoning Grassy Terrain.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[zeefable, 501951]] , [user2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[user1, userid1]]
=============

Ferrothorn

[SET]
name: Iron Defense
move 1: Body Press
move 2: Leech Seed
move 3: Iron Defense
move 4: Protect
item: Leftovers
ability: Iron Barbs
nature: Sassy
evs: 212 HP/ 44 Def/ 252 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* With Ferrothorn's great defensive typing and solid natural bulk, it is able to be a consistent very respectable win condition against many top threats such as Kyogre and Necrozma-DM.

* Body Press is Ferrothorn's sole offensive option. After it has used Iron Defense a few times, it's capable of putting dents in a majority of the metagame, including Rillaboom, Incineroar, and Kartana.

* Leech Seed is a way for Ferrothorn to gain reliable recovery while slowly chipping at its foes. It is excellent for wearing down Pokemon without reliable recovery, like Zacian-C and Thundurus Kyogre. (probably too many kyogre mentions, this one makes the most sense to cut)

* Ferrothorn can easily set up Iron Defense in the face of many attackers. After an Iron Defense, Ferrothorn it is basically untouchable by a majority of the physical Pokemon in the metagame including, Groudon, Necrozma-DM , and Calyrex-Ice.

* 212 HP EVs maximizes leftovers recovery, while 252 Special Defense EVs allow Ferrothorn to better stand up to strong special attackers like Regieleki and Kyogre.

[CREDITS]
Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[zeefable, 501951]] , [user2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[user1, userid1]]

1/1 from me. thank you for being so quick with the revisions!

 

[Adeleine]

Add/Fix Remove Comment
(AC)/(RC): Add/Remove Comma

both Torkoal sets

[SET]
name: Support
move 1: Burning Jealousy
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Yawn
move 4: Protect
item: Sitrus Berry / Shuca Berry
ability: Drought
nature: Sassy
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 SpDef
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

* On teams lacking Groudon, Torkoal is a reliable option to set sun for Charizard and Venusaur to wreak havoc as their abilities greatly benefit from sun being active. with their abilities.

* Burning Jealousy is excellent for punishing Weakness Policy and Swords Dance users such as Groudon, Necrozma-DM, and Solgaleo.

* Body Press is Torkoal's primary offensive option. It his fairly hard. (AC) as Torkoal has a naturally high Defense stat.

* Yawn can cripple Dynamaxed Pokemon, which Torkoal struggles to deal with otherwise.

[SET]
name: Offensive
move 1: Eruption
move 2: Heat Wave / Flamethrower (added space before and after slash)
move 3: Earth Power / Solar Beam (added space before and after slash)
move 4: Protect
item: Charcoal
ability: Drought
nature: Quiet
evs: 252 HP/ 252 SpAtk / 4 SpDef 252 HP / 252 SpA / 4 SpD
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe (added space before and after slash)

[SET COMMENTS]

* Eruption is Torkoal's most powerful attack, being able to OHKO the likes of Zacian-C and Thundurus. It also gives Torkoal a 150 BP Max Flare, (semicolon -> comma) a powerful single-target attack and a way to reset sun.

* Heat Wave is a strong spread move, but Flamethrower is more reliable thanks to its perfect accuracy and ability to bypass Wide Guard.

* Earth Power hits Rock and Fire types Rock- and Fire-types such as Nihilego, Incineroar, and Stakataka. Additionally, it can boost its Torkoal's rather poor Special Defense with Max Quake. While Alternatively, Solar Beam hits Water and Rock types Water- and Rock-types such as Tapu Fini and Lapras. Max Overgrowth is useful for not being reliant on sun to dent opposing Water-types, and it can also override opposing terrains by summoning Grassy Terrain.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[zeefable, 501951]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Finland, 517429]]

Ferrothorn

[SET]
name: Iron Defense
move 1: Body Press
move 2: Iron Defense (switched Iron Defense to be above leech bc set is named after it)
move 3: Leech Seed
move 4: Protect
item: Leftovers
ability: Iron Barbs
nature: Sassy
evs: 212 HP/ 44 Def/ 252 SpDef 212 HP / 44 Def / 252 SpD
ivs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe (added linebreak under)

[SET COMMENTS]

* With Ferrothorn's great defensive typing and solid natural bulk, it is able to be a consistent and very respectable win condition against many top threats, (AC) such as Kyogre and Necrozma-DM.

* Body Press is Ferrothorn's sole offensive option. After it Ferrothorn has used Iron Defense a few times, it's capable of putting dents in a majority of the metagame, including Rillaboom, Incineroar, and Kartana.

* Ferrothorn can easily set up Iron Defense in the face of many attackers. After an Iron Defense, (AC) it is basically untouchable by a majority of the physical Pokemon in the metagame, (AC) including (RC) Groudon, Necrozma-DM, and Calyrex-Ice. (removed extra space between "Necrozma-DM" and comma. Also, moved iron defense bullet up for same reason as moving iron defense moveslot up)

* Leech Seed is a way for Ferrothorn to gain reliable recovery recover while slowly chipping at its foes. It is excellent for wearing down Pokemon without reliable recovery, like Zacian-C and Kyogre.

* 212 HP EVs maximizes Leftovers recovery, while 252 Special Defense EVs allow Ferrothorn to better stand up to strong special attackers like Regieleki and Kyogre.

[CREDITS]
Written by: [[Bananers7, 527416]]
- Quality checked by: [[zeefable, 501951]]
- Grammar checked by: [[Finland, 517429]]

1/1 for both

 

[Bananers]

Finland changes are made, GP 1/1