Hey all. This weekend I'm making a big move to Florida, where I don't know anyone, for a good job and I'm a little nervous. I lived for two years in Utah while I was in grad school but I never felt like I fit in.
I got along well with other grad students and professors but nothing really blossomed into an out of work friendship or relationship. Early on I tried going to board game meetups and comic book shops for Friday Night Magic, and that was fun for a little while but I never felt like I could talk to them outside the store.
As time went on I got increasingly frustrated because I couldn't really go to anyone if I wanted to just chill out. No one who would go to a movie, concert, or event, no one to play video games or watch TV and anime with, no gym buddies, rock climbing partners, hikers, or skiers. What I wanted was a good enough friend that we could enjoy each other's company no matter what we were doing but I got a lot of resistance instead. No one has time for anything, and the best I could swing was really boring small talky dinner parties with a number of (admittedly good) people and the occasional group outing to some bar.
Toward the end I still got by streaming and skyping with my old friends, but I couldn't shake my frustration and I started to go out to bars by myself to meet people in general and used Tinder to see if I could run into some like-minded dates. Browsed a few nice bars, went on a couple reasonable dates, but I never felt comfortable and it didn't work out.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is things seemed so much more natural in college, lots of open minded similar aged people with time on their hands not tied down to a wife and kids and often forced into communal living areas. And I had a good enough time with some interesting acquaintances but I felt like I was missing something.
Does anyone have tips or experience on the subject? How can I get the most out of exploring a new city on my own? Do I just need to run into the right person for something to click and be more patient? Or should I continue to try and force my way into better situations even if it's not initially something I'm comfortable with?
I got along well with other grad students and professors but nothing really blossomed into an out of work friendship or relationship. Early on I tried going to board game meetups and comic book shops for Friday Night Magic, and that was fun for a little while but I never felt like I could talk to them outside the store.
As time went on I got increasingly frustrated because I couldn't really go to anyone if I wanted to just chill out. No one who would go to a movie, concert, or event, no one to play video games or watch TV and anime with, no gym buddies, rock climbing partners, hikers, or skiers. What I wanted was a good enough friend that we could enjoy each other's company no matter what we were doing but I got a lot of resistance instead. No one has time for anything, and the best I could swing was really boring small talky dinner parties with a number of (admittedly good) people and the occasional group outing to some bar.
Toward the end I still got by streaming and skyping with my old friends, but I couldn't shake my frustration and I started to go out to bars by myself to meet people in general and used Tinder to see if I could run into some like-minded dates. Browsed a few nice bars, went on a couple reasonable dates, but I never felt comfortable and it didn't work out.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is things seemed so much more natural in college, lots of open minded similar aged people with time on their hands not tied down to a wife and kids and often forced into communal living areas. And I had a good enough time with some interesting acquaintances but I felt like I was missing something.
Does anyone have tips or experience on the subject? How can I get the most out of exploring a new city on my own? Do I just need to run into the right person for something to click and be more patient? Or should I continue to try and force my way into better situations even if it's not initially something I'm comfortable with?
