- don shoutouts (purely objective ratings as voted by the public)
alphabetical order cuz i dont want u shits to think i pick favorites
Anti: damn i knew u had potential when i picked u up for battle of the squads in like round 9 of drafting, the tour in which u horrendously choked dicks vs kody after promising "i know nu bro trust me", thus undermining all faith i had in u (ur being a baril monkey further degraded said evaluation). however, u did make up for the lack of skill with the incessant pessimism during the season, which sure made me alot less unlikeable within the team chat, therefore effectively fought fire with fire by adding more cancer to the cancer pot! besides that, being present every day for help and encouragement just goes to show how tremendously impactful boredom is on teenagers. oh yea and u surprised the whole team w the breakout rby performance, that was a bonus too. overall a
tier 1 teammate, valuable and helpful
Asuya: asuya man i thought u were gonna just offer tests and never be able to start, but im glad u did end up starting. i take partial credit for the win tho cuz be4 the game i tossed u on ur neck 4 games in a row and once even w a spextran scrfluke team, effectively allowing u to change ur team to the finalized version and reduced the amount of suckassery in ur plays. the final team tossed my ass on nekkk in testing and proved to be a finals caliber skkkuad. also gj w testing, scouting, organizing teams and data, and just being a helpful and tryhard teammate.
tier 1
Badass: sigh this nigga managed to get dropped in 3 different tiers in 1 spl lol what a pathetic churb. alas the don's consultation invited a sense of clarity in the kid, and thats when he realized: i suck shit at ou. thats also when the administrative decision to move ass to ru occurred, the turning point of our campaign. as for the critics scrutinizing team synergy sayin that ass held a grudge over my benching his ass in wcop, all i can say is
if thats not harmony, then fuck e-harmony
another tier 1 god, actually imma move him to
tier 0 cuz east
Ben Gay: b4 i played ben in oras i thought he was the lil ol churb who uses standard shit and got dunked on by riolu. however, after many a tossings being given to me via garbage like mchomp shedinja hydreigon and co i realized one thing: in oras u can have a shit team, as long as ur opp has a shit matchup. jokes aside these shitty looking churbs did come thru, even the fucking pikachu one jesus fuck. guess this guy rlly does have bigger balls than the don, i wouldnt even have brought riolu in spl cuz im a pussy (i prefer stall) tier 2 interaction w team u lone wolf bastard (and never showing ur team ideas to us, but then again id prolly tell u to use standard lati chomp so i guess thats on me) but
tier 1 for raking in the Ws g
Chaser: snake faggit rooted for ruiners the whole time,,, sigh chaser ur making it hard 4 me 2 restore our friendship back in spl4 ;'{ at least u didnt actually snake which,,, wait,,,, my shit matchup in semis and finals,,, it all makes sense u backstabbin pile of kangaroo dung -
tier 3 for effort, or lack thereof
Chimpact: haha good ol chimpuppet. i told shake to get chimp cuz chimp is to me what shake was to mop. when chimpacts not uploading the rare losses i have incurred by my use of fun sun vs chimp's tryhardery, hes always sarcastically complimenting me with phrases like "great idea bro", "sick team dude!", and "wow ur a gr8 friend". u sicken me u sarcastic pile of shit. well the upside to having chimp is that, u know, he is to me what shake was to mop nuff said. shoutout to ur marvelous choice of team with the help of anti's dumbass, i mean who needs a sucker resist vs xtra, not like he can only use talon bisharp lead rocks +3 haha,,, at least that display of misplays and autism will forever boost the confidence of our teammates, reassuring them that they will never be as shit as u. also shoutout that olt series in the middle of yabois spl game, i too sometimes forget that lopunny doesnt particularly counter altaria too well haha,, valiant effort nonetheless shoutout lordsquads. aside from that, u were a valuable chess piece in our collection and ur 5-1 record just goes to show that even a pawn can turn into a queen if guided by the right hands.
tier 1
OU Jesus Corleone: what would the team be without you. masked by nonchalance and inactivity is the tru value u bring to the team, and that is being there by not being there (confucius 231) ur coach carter esque critique approach elevated the performance of teammates across all tiers, calling out badass' shitty fight resist less team and scolding ben gay for the choke vs jamvad for example clearly propelled them to victory in the subsequent weeks. not only that, but in the face of lucky and shit retards, all of smogon snaking with goons scoutin, and having to deal with the complexity that is the ps team building/loading system, you still managed to lose no more games than you did in spl4 while netting an overall about 15 victories via critical insight such as "u gotta hope xtra chokes and sacks sharp" and "dude papai u gotta crit him". overall i would say the most impactful member of the team because he singlehandedly brought about the shift in roster post midseason. truly the most valuable asset any team can have, which explains why he has never lost in any major smogon tournament before semifinals (spl x2, ost, wcop x2) jesus this guy truly is the ou jesus
tier 0 god
Elodin: you are to yan what chimpact is to me, a baby in the cradle, a leaf on the branch. glad we picked ur ass up midseason though, having 2 twave spamming jajas to bounce ideas off of in bw is really beneficial, because nothing like suggesting "leader, how is terrak, keld, rotom, landot, rachi, lati?" or elodin agreeing with said suggestion reassures me more that last wcop was indeed a fluke. aside from that, elodin made tremendous plays in the 2 games leading to playoffs, but still had the calm and composure in the latter 2 games to comeback from deficits and do the most with luck. truly synergizes with ben gay in reflecting the other half of the ideology: in ou u can be shit, as long as ur opp has shit luck. jokes aside very well done in fulfilling the niche that we picked him up for, solid
tier 1 pickup
FLCL: fooly is to classiest what he is to tagpro-- sometimes he shows up, and he kinda is just there. when hes not gettin tossed by supposedly inferior players or busy choking/missaving, hes,,,, wait actually thats all he comes into the team chat to do. other than that its tagpro x clannad for this weeaboo. when the reyrankings
™ first came out, i was surprised that case was named the top nu player. however, now im starting to believe the reyrankings
™ are correct, except that teddeh shoulda been higher than both these chodes. tbf flcl did clutch us a few important wins, so theres that! aside from that tho fooly actually helped all the lower tiers quite a bit, and its evident that he is sitting comfortably in the chair of 3rd best nuer of smogon, well, that is assuming sg quits. jk nigga u know i would never put my oriental brethren on the spot haha,,,
tier 2 performance tho (BAN ME PLEASE) those teams u used pre-midseason were worse constructed than shake's parents' abortion plan.
Hikari: niggas rlly thought just because he banned me a few times in my po days that i would hold a grudge on him. haha,,,, ofc not! that would def not compel me to snake his teams to his opponents resulting in his hideous record haha,,, why would i do that maybe he just sucks shit and got played haha,,,, very inaccessible in the season, though u had ur shit down when it came to ur own tier. ultimately though, ur undefeated playoff run will forever erase those what, 12? or so losses u had in the regular season, because whos gonna remember u losing to gods like bouffalant, pearl and co, afterall they are gods and u a mere mortal jajaboi. overall a
tier 1 performance saved by that impeccable playoff record jesus fuck im jealous
Jibaku: if there was a person who insists on increasing the difficulty of the game just so he can outplay matchup, shit luck, and overcome the intentional bst gap of about 2000 between his and his opponent's teams, its gotta be my nigga jibs. i mean, who needs to use squads with broken shit like mence don xern and co made by the god of ubers himself- blimlax, when u can use dice/problems' borderline-ou-with-1-uber donsquads. those ballsy and well measured plays tho are what put u above the ubers crowd. time and time again uv been crippled in the early game and clawed ur way back into the game via pur outplayery, and i commend u as a player for ur tremendous skill. if my nigga jibs can manage to get buckets despite intentionally handicapping himself, imagine what he can do with actual ubers mons in ubers?? insane.
tier 0 for the skill and tier 3 for the teamchoices
Key: only the 2nd most likeable user on the site. the most valuable use of 3k when theres no use for the 3k. encouraging words like "yea u gotta win this week guys!" and "when am i getting carried to a trophy?" have never been more uplifting. its a shame that u had to be thoroughly chokeslammed in ur debut game by the undisputed oras king pdc, his array of crits dismantled ur team faster than u did ur parents' marriage. i hope all is well in ur future endeavors being benched in tours like powc, pocl, uupl, rupl, and nupl, may the churbs continue to carry u to victory!
Tier 4 w reese wood cuz useless pile
Lowgock: i was surprised when niggas claimed that ur slam run was a fluke and that u werent as good as u were made out to be. unfortunately, i was faced with the reality that that may be true after the first few games. however, u were able to contribute silently to the team behind the scenes, in the sense that shake kinda just told u to fuck off. i honestly feel that the early half season doesnt show ur potential as a player, because u played like an actual threat in slam. hopefully u get another opportunity to showcase ur tru skill in the lower tiers, i mean u r a pleasant teammate to have albeit inactive and kind of in the background. anyways free trophy right?
tier 3 tho :[
Nitroo: ur record may say one thing, but i rmbr the test games we had. at first u def thought "peep this newgen (BAN ME PLEASE) he probs doesnt even know how to double switch", but my experience to always use the ineffective move in dpp caught u off guard a few. afterwards, u displayed ur actual capabilities and dropped me on my nekkk multiple times. what im trying to say is, if someone as shit as me can beat u in dpp , dont be surprised that other churbs did via matchup and luck too. all that matters is when u outplayed the shit out of top tier dppers in clutch games, we got the W. just gonna reiterate that in the same boat as jibaku, u are a tremendous player held down by matchup and luck, but then again even the don struggles to outplay both matchup AND luck, we are but mortal men afterall shoutout kendrick.
tier 1 performance
MrE: "did we win yet?" yes we did old fart, u definitely cleared my preconception of u being a washed up old fuck whos gonna barely break even for us and contribute nothing beyond gsc (well the latter is tru u oldfag). however, u did come thru as the clutchest player of the team and brought home some huge wins allowing us to stay in playoff contention, so thats ur true value. well since u got so many wins and is the title holder for most wins in spl history, im gonna forego criticism on ur lack of presence beyond latenight self-convos regarding irrelevant old gen games that happened 10 hours ago and the ever repeated "did we win yet"
eat shit mre good thing we won ey
tier 0 oldfuck
Triangles: though we did not interact much nor do i have much knowledge of adv, u did pull thru with some clutch wins esp the victory over that ovepriced doofus that is
McMeghan (shoutout that other overpriced shit run in spl4 u goober). u def prepped abundantly for all ur opponents and bringing in valuable wins in the top 3 competitive tier when u are one of the lowest valued players is akin to steve kerr hitting that game winner in 97.
tier 1 effort g
Zach: i know jack shit about doubles, nor was i sure that zach was ready to take on doubles gods like biosci, mizugodmoo, and yungjake93 for us this spl. everything changed when a related video stumbled across my youtube feed. it was some regional where zach was playing this bearded dude, and my nigga rslide flinches both mons for like 3 turns str8. unflinching at his opponent's bitchy body posture and complaints under his breath, zach looks him directly in the eyes from across the table, and ends the game with some more rockslides. that moment is when i knew, this guy doesnt give a fuck. truly the king of doubles, u brought very diverse teams and played out of ur mind in some of those games, analyzing the tier in which there are more 5050s than badass has lost them in dpp. very clutch performance, especially the dominating finals victory.
tier 1 doubles jesus,
tier 0 for the live event fuck-u-pay-me world class moxie
last but not least shoutout my managers without u i woulv sunk alongside hugo in the wolfpack ship,, (jk marvelous team friends better luck next yr literally) shake if u werent such an insufferable fuck of a human being maybe we wouldnt have been antagonized all season. koko u useless pile if u were half the manager that i filled in for then wed actually have a manager. also shake is there anything u CAN do besides "this loss is fine we still got this gs", "dont worry we got it next week gs", and stopping me from str8ening up some fuckups that occurred througout the season? useless donglicker i swear, get carried to ur 3rd trophy u shitpile
i would shoutout all my goons from the guild but thatd take a while, so ill just highlight a few breakout performances: pwn for coming back to have a wonderful record much like how he came back from thrown games, joey for demolishing a tier that his team didnt even have a player for (shoutout hugo nice assmanning), jamvad n pdc for tossin niggas on the side in oras in their debuts (is it ur debut starting seasons? idk), and ofc my nigga soulwind for his spectacular bw performance all tour. some of the best bw played all tour was by sw, hats off for keeping the tier alive and enjoyable.
oh yea also shoutout to blunder faji and sogeking for being the only 3 niggas to help. #loyal since day 1 niggas. soge has cleaned himself of the snake name
blunder ur time to get a trophy nigga
also a quick suck my balls to all the haters dickriding the classy hate train, they hate us cuz they anus
obligatory lil b gif after 2 years,
niggas w a brand new 2nd trophy be like
- Don Corlikeableone